Success by Failure
“Failing and hard work is the price for success: the more you are willing to pay, the more success you receive.” A seasoned writer on leadership — Max Klein — penned these words, and they form the foundation of my thinking on failure. I think it is pivotal that we redefine our idea of what failure is and is not. That it is not something we shun, but celebrate. Not in a way that romanticises failing, but in a healthy manner that understands it is going to happen. Failure is inescapable. Not only is it inevitable, but it is an inherent component of success. And so, if it is going to happen, and there is no way to avoid the inevitability of it — it then becomes incumbent to embrace the notion of successful failure. A seemingly ambiguous yet imperative thought. Inasmuch as it is not the adversity that makes you better, rather the manner in which you respond, it is in the “how” of failure that makes all the difference.
Having read dozens of biographies on the world’s most influential and impactful entrepreneurs, it is easy to find the common thread that weaves its way through all of their stories, and that is that they’ve all failed. Not once, not twice, but a hundred times over before the taste of triumph.
Success without failure is a pipe dream.
I would venture to say that it is impossible to realise any level of success, in any area of life, without some level of setback, disappointment or opposition. Ironically, the lessons learned from non-success are what ultimately prepare us for the successes of life. So how can we adopt a higher failure quotient? While I believe there are many character traits of successful failure, I will highlight only a few to further illustrate the point.
1. Feel it
I’ll be the first to admit that failing sucks! Resultantly, I’ve often found myself deflecting trying to avoid the pain of it (and I’m certain I am not alone here). But to feel, is to heal. There can be no healing, and by virtue progress, where there is no intentional effort to feel and deal with our disappointments. Moreover, failure becomes futile if we do not embrace the lessons linked to the event and learn from them. But we only get there when we allow ourselves to sit in the discomfort of it. It is however vital to note that we don’t idly remain in a position of perpetual failure but embrace the process of awareness to make real and sustainable ascension possible. It is important to allow yourself the time to rightly assess the instances where you’ve failed, reflect and introspect. This affords you a robust learning curve from the event.
2. Fail forward
We often hear the term “fail forward”, but what does it actually mean? My take, is that it speaks to the principle of perseverance. The ability to be resilient even in the frustration and face of failure.
Expect failure, prepare for it, but push past it.
“At some point, all great achievers are tempted to believe they are failures. But in spite of that, they persevere. In the face of adversity, shortcomings, and rejection, they hold onto self-belief and refuse to see themselves as failures.” These words by John Maxwell capture the essence of two crucial issues, that of perseverance and self-perception. From experience, I know how easy it is to fall into a hole of self-doubt, lack of confidence and belief on the back of a series of disappointments. And that is when it is essential to make the necessary separation — that you might have failed, but you are not a failure. I cannot overemphasise this, leaders and entrepreneurs must have a healthy self-image that is not premised on their performance or external events. Instead, it needs to be based on something that is deeper, more meaningful and long-lasting. Performance should be an indication of progress, not the source of your worth.
3. Fail quickly
I think one of the most difficult things to do when you’ve hit a low, is not remain in that positional posture. In yet, this is arguably one of the most important of all the action points. It is all for nothing if we feel the pain, fail forward but remain in it. It also is not helpful, the longer we stay in that place of self-pity and misery. The key to failing well is failing quickly. Especially in the context of the modern economy, where speed is the gold standard. Feel it, fail forward, but fail quickly.
“Failures are simply passages of learning we pass on the way to success.”
As a final remark I’ll note, that it is important to fence out from failure and not fence in. This means that we continuously espouse a spirit of growth and learning even as and when we fail. That we rightly put things into perspective and keep pressing forward. When we take up the correct posture in failure — to fail forward — we learn, we grow and the net effect is that we not only do better but become better. Failure should not be license to quit, but license to learn. It should not be reason to throw in the towel, but what moves and motivates us to overcome. For failures are simply passages of learning we pass on the way to success.
